my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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