just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize