bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
