Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
