Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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