My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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