I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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