I accidentally had phone sex last night
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize