Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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