you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
