Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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