meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's rum buckets o'clock
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize