She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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