Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just found puke in my bra..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
