you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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