I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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