i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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