moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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