Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
