it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize