weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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