Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Randomize
