i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
