i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
