I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
