think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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