he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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