A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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