Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
