Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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