I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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