and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
