Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
