she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
