She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize