Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
