dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
