i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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