Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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