your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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