I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
