Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
