I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
my god I love twenty year old dicks
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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