im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
