Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
