barbara walters just said penis...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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