We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
