Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
