Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
