My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
