great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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