Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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