I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
