She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize