does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize