Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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