Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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