I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
it was like eating out sand paper
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
